Jane ignores Steve because she wants him to notice her. John waits three days before contacting her because he doesn't want to seem desperate. Mary feels that her boyfriend is losing interest in her. Michael thinks that taking care of Stacy drunk will help her realize how much he likes her and how they should be together.
Then, There are all these books on dating and love that perpetuate how we should act etc....
I disagree with these books and articles about how to win over a man. Do they work? Possibly. I don't deny the advice given will not work, but I don't agree with the method. All it does is teach us how to play the game. Frankly, I don't like the game. I bought it, didn't understand the rules, and return it the next day...
I do like nice guys, but that's not to say that I don't find myself entrapped by the very own fucked up psychological tricks mean guys pull. (Thankfully, I catch myself before it gets too serious!)
However, as time goes by, I start to find myself
a little more bitter...
a little more weary...
a little more intolerable to dating...
There are parts of me want to cross over to the dark side; because frankly, it gets tiring to be the nice girl. I do not like to play games. I do not like to not hold grudges and ignore guys as means of punishment. I do not try to "keep" the power or control the situation or abuse the power. I often willingly give it away.
If I am interested in you, I will show interest.
If I want to talk you, I will talk to you.
I want to tell you when you make me happy or upset. If I want to see you, I want to be able to say so.
But that's has gotten us Nice Guys nowhere...
For girls, we are seen as too emotional and too anxious. We are pushovers; we are too sweet for our own good. We are too eager and too generous with our services & time when we like someone.
The rest of the world interprets it as a weakness and takes advantage of the situation. [snapshot of my bitterness]
The issue is not that we are nice. Being nice is great; I like that I am a Nice kid (most of the time). The issue is that we are targeting the wrong people: people still stuck in "the game". We can't tell ourselves that by some miraculous series of kind acts, that hot girl/guy you've had your eye on (and have been talking to for the past 5 months) will suddenly realize that you're a great catch!
We need to assess our targets. Have a better eye for those heartbreakers.
There are nice guys like us everywhere and there are so many benefits to the Nice Guy:Nice Girl Duo!
1. You don't have to be fearful that you've said too much.
2. You don't have to worry about the power & control struggle.
3. You feel appreciated; you feel loved & secure.
4. Yes, there will be insecurities, but you talk about it and you work through those. When I was dating NG (Nice Guy), I never worried that he was getting bored of me or wasn't attracted to me anymore.
The list goes on... :)
Just two generous, loving, caring people together in a harmonious relationship of open communication.
What are we waiting for??
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