My Personal Mental Notes for Maneuvering the Dating World

I recently (not so recently) came out of a long term relationship, and it is extremely apparent to me that I have forgotten everything there is to be single. 

Here is a brief summary of my development towards the single society (notice- some of the stages overlap with each other): 

• Event: Break Up! 
• Time of "hope" (when you are still holding on to the dead relationship corpse of you and your former love): ~approx. 4 Months
• Time of Grieve and Recovery (when you are now accepting that you are going to live alone for the rest of your life and you don't ever want to be in another relationship, aside from those with loving animals who will give you unconditional love. At this point, you're still stuck at home, reading depressing novels about love, catching up on dramas off Netflix, and avoiding the outside world.) This video helped a lot! : ~ approx. 3 Months
• Time of Independence (when you're not yet ready to go out into the dating world, but you're tired of being a lazy slob. Going out with friends during the day, working out, eating better again, and learning to adjust to being a single person. By this I mean driving by yourself, purchasing only one ticket, having no one specific to share your day with, and so on. This is also the point where you stop mentioning he-who-shall-not-be-named so much!) : ~approx. 3 Months
• First dip into Dating (when you start going out to night time events again. Maybe you are okay with talking to guys again, although parts of you just find is exhausting and uncomfortable. Possibly out dating again but nothing lasts over the first few dates. At least you're putting yourself out there! Good for you.): ~approx. 1 month so far...

So that's where I am currently: stepping back into Dating. It's been a very loopy ride, full of extremely awkward situations and over-analyzing chatter among my girlfriends but hilariously entertaining and confusingly progressive. It's as if I have to learn everything about dating all over again. 

My friend showed me a blog earlier this week and I think it's actually a great blog to look over if you are currently in the market. I highly recommend you looking over it if you are confused, lost, or stumbling around as I am. I am selective with what I choose to use in my life, but overall, the writers' perspective into the common male brain is intriguing. As his blog may sound contradictory to my former post, I disagree. I can easily filter those who are playing the game and cut them out from the 'potential guy' box. 

SO! Currently I am going through my dating filter phase and it helps that I have this handy dandy blog to reference to but I wanted to give a few (OBVIOUS) pointers to myself that I often forget: 

• Men are all about convenience. Therefore, if he likes you, he will go out of his way to make time for you. Even if it means its of inconvenience to him.  
• If he likes you, he will initiate contact. Do not contact him! 
• He will be clear and distinct if he wants to hang out with you (i.e.,- like with date and time)
• He will want to initiate more intimacy - (i.e.,- prefer to call you over texting or prefer to see you in person vs texting, etc) 
• There is always an exception: he may be too shy, but normally that is not the case. If you give him positive reinforcements, I am confident that he will muster the courage to take the initiative. :) 
• Don't waste time/energy on boys who don't matter! Use that time for Self-Improvement!

Here's to all the single ladies! Good Luck!