Friday, October 5, 2012

Unforgotten Things

My mind fails me. It's been a decade since I've been without her, and I'm starting to forget what she even looks like. I have these sketches in my mind as to what she may look like - never sure if it was all in my mind. 

White fur. Pegged arms. a stitched nose. no tail. 

I search pages and pages of pictures to find her, but it's not as easy. No name. No manufacturer. 
Where could she be? 
Even if I found her, would it be the same? Could we pick up from where we left off? 
Is an identical manufactured replica enough to  calm my anxieties? 

It's been a decade, at least. Still, I am up at 4AM in the morning, searching pages upon pages for this childhood friend. 
I get so close sometimes...but the nose isn't right, this isn't the right material, there's a tail...

Sometimes I wonder if my mind has manipulated the picture, and I've already passed her a hundred times yet not know.

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