Friendship Break-Ups

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend me your ears...Why does it seem like recently, I've been having so many problems trying to maintain friends?

I have moved recently to an area farther from my friends, but it isn't (or at least shouldn't be) far enough to create a void in my relationships. It is about one hour away from my friends, and 45 minutes from my original location.

Today, one of my friends, whom I would consider one of my best friends, broke up with me. As odd as it sounds, we had a drift in the relationship and I confronted her about it. In conclusion, she wanted a break from "us".

It's not really you though, I think I've just been making very little effort in general to keep up with friends that aren't around. I am actually pretty sorry about that. You're not the only one though. I think I'm just tired of planning and trying to do things with people. Don't take that against you or anything. I've sorta just been taking the easier options that are infront of me. Like if someone wants to go eat then I'll go eat. Thanks for actually making an effort to work things out with me. I find that some of my friends don't even bother to talk to me when I don't bother.

At first, I felt hurt reading this email; in fact, it still stings a little, but I recongnize these feelings are common with everyone. I have felt the way she has before. There are times I have felt introverted and didn't want to try to be social. I didn't want to put in any effort to stay in touch with friends. It was just reading her blantant thoughts on my monitor was a smack in the face of my own feelings/actions towards other people.

Furthermore, I am getting towards the point in my life where I need to know which one of my friends is here to stay and which ones aren't. I am looking/needing to have a set of friends who I will...grow old with. I don't mean that I would desert everyone else, but I need to know that there are certain people who I can always count on and invest into. In addition, I would like for those relationships to be mutually as important on their end as mine. (Doesn't it suck when you realize that someone doesn't care for you as much as you care for them? bleh... That's another topic)

Help!: How should I go about figuring out which friendships to harvest in and which ones to keep as-is? Should I go and search for what I want or wait for those who want me? What should I look for? If I actively build my own selection, how many chances should I give before I stop trying to "friend" them? How long should I wait?